Crime
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Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide
Ah, Mackenzie Park. The crown jewel of Lubbock where you can enjoy a picnic, watch the prairie dogs develop plague, or, apparently, get executed by your own nephew. In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever sat through a Lubbock County court proceeding, Justin Aleman officially traded his trial date for a [...]Read More... from Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide
Shallowater Band Director Moves Up from Local Creep to Federal Felon
Just when you thought Shallowater’s reputation for “family values” couldn’t get any more tarnished, Joseph Macaulay Gonzalez has managed to level up. Our favorite 27-year-old former assistant band director isn’t just a local disappointment anymore; he’s now officially a federal problem. On April 8, a grand jury decided that his extracurricular activities deserved more than [...]Read More... from Shallowater Band Director Moves Up from Local Creep to Federal Felon
The Hub City’s Favorite Game: Jurisdictional Hot Potato (feat. A 3/4-Ton Truck)
Welcome to Lubbock, where the only thing flatter than the landscape is the police department’s transparency. We’ve got another tragic “oopsie” on our hands, this time at the corner of Texas Tech Parkway and Indiana Avenue. On Saturday night, Jordyn Dabelstein—a 22-year-old nursing student who actually had a promising future elsewhere—was sitting at a red [...]Read More... from The Hub City’s Favorite Game: Jurisdictional Hot Potato (feat. A 3/4-Ton Truck)
Politics
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Panic in Austin: Dan Patrick Realizes Screaming About Vouchers Won’t Save the GOP from Itself
Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick—a man who usually spends his days finding new and creative ways to make librarians cry—has suddenly looked at a calendar and realized that November is coming. While speaking at a policy summit in Austin (the city he claims to hate but can’t seem to leave), Patrick admitted that Republicans might actually [...]Read More... from Panic in Austin: Dan Patrick Realizes Screaming About Vouchers Won’t Save the GOP from Itself
Texas Politicians Brave Enough to Fight a Scary 2% of the Population
Our fearless leaders in Austin have finally identified the greatest threat to the Lone Star State, and no, it’s not the crumbling power grid or the fact that it’s 95 degrees in April. According to a recent Texas Tribune chat with State Representative Salman Bhojani—one of the first two Muslims ever elected to the state [...]Read More... from Texas Politicians Brave Enough to Fight a Scary 2% of the Population
Texas’ New Anti-Woke Police Are Taking Snitch Reports via the “Trust Me, Bro” Method
Welcome to the latest installment of “Texas Government: Making It Up As We Go.” Our glorious state leaders decided we needed a new watchdog—the Office of the Ombudsman—to ensure pesky universities like Texas Tech aren’t accidentally teaching students empathy or, god forbid, diversity. This office is the ultimate arbiter of what counts as “too liberal,” [...]Read More... from Texas’ New Anti-Woke Police Are Taking Snitch Reports via the “Trust Me, Bro” Method
Guns
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Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide
Ah, Mackenzie Park. The crown jewel of Lubbock where you can enjoy a picnic, watch the prairie dogs develop plague, or, apparently, get executed by your own nephew. In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever sat through a Lubbock County court proceeding, Justin Aleman officially traded his trial date for a [...]Read More... from Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide
Ave Q: Where a Flat Tire is the Least of Your Problems
Only in the Hub City can you pull into a tire shop to fix a flat and leave with no car, no wallet, and a fresh case of PTSD. Our victim was at Crest Tires on Avenue Q—because where else would you be for a crime story?—when a stranger decided that pointing a gun was [...]Read More... from Ave Q: Where a Flat Tire is the Least of Your Problems
Mackenzie Park Easter: Because Nothing Says ‘He Is Risen’ Like a Punch to the Face and a Bullet to the Hand
Nothing captures the spiritual majesty of Easter Sunday in Lubbock quite like the annual tradition of dodging projectiles at Mackenzie Park. While most of the civilized world was busy peeling hard-boiled eggs or pretending to enjoy ham, 40-year-old Margarito Sarmiento Espinoza was busy turning the park into a low-budget action movie. According to the police, [...]Read More... from Mackenzie Park Easter: Because Nothing Says ‘He Is Risen’ Like a Punch to the Face and a Bullet to the Hand
Public Health
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Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure
Our neighbors in Shallowater just got some glowing news from the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality. It turns out the local tap water has officially surpassed the EPA’s “try not to grow a third arm” limit for combined uranium. While the feds suggest 30 micrograms per liter is the maximum acceptable amount for human survival, [...]Read More... from Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure
East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)
Nothing says “Good morning, Hub City” quite like an 8:00 AM cardio session involving a pack of aggressive dogs. On Thursday morning, an elderly woman in the 2400 block of East 8th Street found out the hard way that in Lubbock, the sidewalks aren’t just for walking—they’re a buffet line for neighborhood hounds whose owners [...]Read More... from East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)
Lubbock’s “Cicada” Strategy: If We Don’t Test the Poop, the Virus Doesn’t Exist
The CDC is sounding the alarm on yet another variant, BA.3.2, nicknamed “Cicada.” While the CDC is just trying to make sure we’re aware this thing is making the rounds, Lubbock is handling the news with its trademark “if I can’t see it, it’s not there” energy. Local health officials claim there’s “no record” of [...]Read More... from Lubbock’s “Cicada” Strategy: If We Don’t Test the Poop, the Virus Doesn’t Exist
Education
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Shallowater Band Director Moves Up from Local Creep to Federal Felon
Just when you thought Shallowater’s reputation for “family values” couldn’t get any more tarnished, Joseph Macaulay Gonzalez has managed to level up. Our favorite 27-year-old former assistant band director isn’t just a local disappointment anymore; he’s now officially a federal problem. On April 8, a grand jury decided that his extracurricular activities deserved more than [...]Read More... from Shallowater Band Director Moves Up from Local Creep to Federal Felon
Texas Politicians Brave Enough to Fight a Scary 2% of the Population
Our fearless leaders in Austin have finally identified the greatest threat to the Lone Star State, and no, it’s not the crumbling power grid or the fact that it’s 95 degrees in April. According to a recent Texas Tribune chat with State Representative Salman Bhojani—one of the first two Muslims ever elected to the state [...]Read More... from Texas Politicians Brave Enough to Fight a Scary 2% of the Population
Texas’ New Anti-Woke Police Are Taking Snitch Reports via the “Trust Me, Bro” Method
Welcome to the latest installment of “Texas Government: Making It Up As We Go.” Our glorious state leaders decided we needed a new watchdog—the Office of the Ombudsman—to ensure pesky universities like Texas Tech aren’t accidentally teaching students empathy or, god forbid, diversity. This office is the ultimate arbiter of what counts as “too liberal,” [...]Read More... from Texas’ New Anti-Woke Police Are Taking Snitch Reports via the “Trust Me, Bro” Method
Local Government
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Gary Boren Learns That Calendars Are Not Just For Decorative Purposes
Gary Boren, a man who has run for more local offices than there are potholes on Indiana Avenue, just hit a slight snag in his latest quest for power. It turns out that when the City of Lubbock asks how long you’ve lived in a district, they actually expect you to tell the truth—and then, [...]Read More... from Gary Boren Learns That Calendars Are Not Just For Decorative Purposes
Oops, We’re Rich: Lubbock County Accidental Surplus Ignites War of Words
In a stunning display of “only in Lubbock” incompetence, our local government is currently embroiled in a bitter civil war because—get this—they actually have too much money. Last week’s audit revealed that the county ended the 2024-25 budget year with a $10 million swing in their favor. While County Auditor Kathy Williams previously warned that [...]Read More... from Oops, We’re Rich: Lubbock County Accidental Surplus Ignites War of Words
Texas House Speaker Dustin Burrows Proposes Manifest Destiny 2.0: The New Mexico DLC
Lubbock’s favorite son and current House Speaker, Dustin Burrows, has released his “interim charges” for 2027, and it’s exactly the kind of ambitious, slightly unhinged wishlist you’d expect from someone who spent too much time staring at the horizon on I-27. Topping the list is a plan to study the “secession” of New Mexico counties [...]Read More... from Texas House Speaker Dustin Burrows Proposes Manifest Destiny 2.0: The New Mexico DLC
Economics
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Texas Flushes $3.2 Billion Down the Data Center Toilet While We Pray Our AC Stays On
In a move that surprises absolutely no one who has ever dealt with Texas “economic development,” the state is currently set to light $3.2 billion in sales tax revenue on fire over the next two years. Why? To make sure companies building massive warehouses full of blinking lights—otherwise known as data centers—don’t have to pay [...]Read More... from Texas Flushes $3.2 Billion Down the Data Center Toilet While We Pray Our AC Stays On
Lubbock Construction: Because the Dust and Potholes Weren’t Enough to Kill You
Welcome to Southwest Lubbock, the land of “Coming Soon” signs and overpriced subdivisions where the wind blows harder than the local economy. On Thursday morning, near the intersection of 114th Street and Upland Avenue—a place currently consisting of more orange cones than actual pavement—the city’s eternal quest to fix the roads claimed more than just [...]Read More... from Lubbock Construction: Because the Dust and Potholes Weren’t Enough to Kill You
Congratulations, Lubbock: Your Landlord Just Found a Way to Charge You $14 More for the Same Dust
While everyone in West Texas loves to point and laugh at California’s 14% rent hikes, we’re currently busy getting nickel-and-dimed right here in the Hub City. Our average monthly rent just ticked up from $1,374 to $1,388. Sure, a 1.02% increase sounds like pocket change to a developer, but for the rest of us, that’s [...]Read More... from Congratulations, Lubbock: Your Landlord Just Found a Way to Charge You $14 More for the Same Dust
Police
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LPD Reminds You That Getting Hit by a Car Is Actually a “You” Problem
Lubbock has officially hit a new milestone in “efficiency” this week, managing to clock two pedestrian fatalities in just 48 hours. While most cities might look at those numbers and wonder if maybe, just maybe, our six-lane stroads are a bit of a death trap, the Lubbock Police Department is here to remind us that [...]Read More... from LPD Reminds You That Getting Hit by a Car Is Actually a “You” Problem
The Hub City’s Favorite Game: Jurisdictional Hot Potato (feat. A 3/4-Ton Truck)
Welcome to Lubbock, where the only thing flatter than the landscape is the police department’s transparency. We’ve got another tragic “oopsie” on our hands, this time at the corner of Texas Tech Parkway and Indiana Avenue. On Saturday night, Jordyn Dabelstein—a 22-year-old nursing student who actually had a promising future elsewhere—was sitting at a red [...]Read More... from The Hub City’s Favorite Game: Jurisdictional Hot Potato (feat. A 3/4-Ton Truck)
LPD Motorcycle Officers Turn ‘No’ Into ‘Go,’ Successfully Total Bikes After Ignoring Orders
Our latest local hero, 22-year-old Charles Sykes, decided the West Loop was his personal Autobahn on Wednesday afternoon. When a motorcycle officer tried to pull him over for speeding—a crime usually ignored by everyone else on the Loop doing 85 in a RAM 1500—Sykes did what any rational Lubbockite with outstanding warrants does: he turned [...]Read More... from LPD Motorcycle Officers Turn ‘No’ Into ‘Go,’ Successfully Total Bikes After Ignoring Orders